QADOSH!

Magnificence, brilliance, breathtaking and awe-inspiring wonder. A Great Mystery, wonder, amazement, terrifying beauty, genuine personality, utterly unconceivable, dazzling, incomprehensible other than, infinite with gladness and overflowing delight.

This is what we are being drawn to. This is what Life as we know it is about. God is pleasure unmeasurable, delight, and joy in the depths of who we are as humans. The Kingdom of Heaven is seeping out and longing to cover us. We have been created to plummet the depths of the uncreated God who knows our name, every hair on our head, our favorite icecream, our deepest fear, who we are when we are all alone, and He TREASURES us. He desires us. He stores every tear and sees every heartbreak. He KNOWS us. This God is inviting us to know His heart. He can see us in all our sin and brokeness and guess what? It doesn't faze Him. He is wooing us into His embrace and crying WITH us in our pain. How COOL IS THAT?!??!

After hearing Jordan talk about taking up our crosses on Thursday at the Gladstone House I was really intrigued by the quote he gave by C.S. Lewis.

"If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ulitimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire. If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

--C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory," in The Weight of Glory (San Francisco: Harper Collins, 1980), pp. 25-26.


I agree that unselfishness/self-denial is the positive flip of the same coin..... Love. I think it is true that our desires are not too strong, but we settle for things that do not ultimately satisfy. We settle for drink, sex, internet, popularity, money, lust, position, fame, self-pity, and small dreams. We are called to step outside of those little safety boxes of comfort and cheap happiness to find that joy doesn't reside in circumstance but it sings at the top of its lungs when the circumstances begs for silence. This is how the world will notice that we are different, because it is everything opposite of what this culture teaches us to be happy.

Look at the paradoxes that Living in Christ creates....

 The greatest Joy comes from the deepest pain.


The way to fight Evil is not with evil, but with Love.


The most amazing grace is seen most clearly from the deepest mire of sin.


True beauty arises from the ugliest situations.


To gain life, I must completely lose it.


To become rich, I must give all away.


I am in the most control when I am fully surrendered. (what?!?)


I am strongest when I am weak because His strength is displayed in my inabilities.

Love is not just something you receive, it is something you give.

Laughing (a cheerful heart) is the best medicine.

Joy. (I mean it’s a paradox in itself. It does not depend on the situation. Happiness can’t come close to that.)

 It reminds me of the quote by Marianne Williamson read by Nelson Mandela at his 1994 inauguration,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

We have been chosen to live to a higher calling. We have been CHOSEN! We can't shirk that.


I have the words of a young African pastor tacked up on my wall, and it reminds me and inspires me that THIS LIFE as we know it...it will not last forever and we have been placed here with a purpose and a design. God's treasure is better. I know that I only have 80ish short years on this planet and I want to live fully in Love.


"I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me--my banner will be clear!"


We are loved. We are loved. We are loved.


YOU ARE LOVED. Live in that today.

He IS.

I’m learning that GOD IS.

When He said that His name is IAM….apparently... He meant it.

He is in the present.

Now.

Not tomorrow.

He is with me...traveling today. The present. His GIFT.

I'm learning about how Jesus never fails no matter how many times I don't trust him. Especially in regards to support raising for China, I'm having trouble trusting and I had like 2 breakdowns the other day. I'm learning to let go and spend time with him and let him help me to live one day at a time. The Lord has told me that it is okay to plan my life, but I need to be okay with Him changin’ up my plans with His when it is needed. I can’t rely on my own self sufficiency. I want to fall back into the arms of grace.

I want to be thankful and content for what He IS providing right now rather than waiting for my problems to go completely away before I can give Him my grateful heartfelt praise.

I struggle with worry.

Jesus talk about this in Matthew 6:25-34 when He reminds me, “Do not worry.” Don’t worry about the basic needs of life--- food, clothing, shelter --- and don’t worry about tomorrow.  This is such necessary life-giving truth to me, because I get caught up in being anxious and letting my thoughts run away with me.

Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Worry

 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[b]?

 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I think that worry is a symptom of a bigger problem. Sometimes it’s a lack of gratitude for the way God has cared for me in the past. Or perhaps it’s a lack of faith that God is really trustworthy. Or it might be a refusal to depend on God rather than myself.

I don’t want to let my worries hold me back from what God is trying to teach me….I want to bring my anxious thoughts to Him because I know He cares about every little detail of my life.

Philippians 4:6 

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

TRUTH: God is in control of all things. HE IS THE CREATOR! He is the PROVIDER! HE IS

TRUTH: If God can provide clothes for the lilies, and give you every breath you take, God can provide all the money I need to go to China.

I wanted to copy/paste the prayer that one of my friends prayed for me while I was dealing with these anxious thoughts. Thanks so much Danielle, I am in awe of your heart. LoVe.

Daddy, I lOve you so much. Thank you so much for your love and grace that has been showed by what you have done on the cross. Thank you that you are in control of everything and that we are in your hands. Thank you that we are always called to depend on you, knowing that your plan is better and greater than ours. I come before you, lifting up your daughter Kristina to you. Thank you so much for putting her in my life. Thank you that you are using her to encourage other brothers and sisters. Thank you that you use your children to help us fall more in love with you. Thank you that you allow your children to help each other grow through weaknesses and strengths. Daddy, I lift her to you to trust in your goodness, to trust in her Creator. I pray that you give her confidence in you knowing that you will provide for her every need and desire. Daddy, you know her every thought and desire. I beg you to hear her deepest desires and to fulfill them for your name's sake. I ask that you reveal to her quickly that you will provide the money for China. Move in the people you desire to glorify your name through supporting her to glorify your name. Daddy, let her be content in you. Let her be satisfied where you have her life and not to envy things that you have not given her yet. Give her patient knowing that your time is perfect. Give her wisdom knowing that the beginning of wisdom is fear and knowledge of you. Daddy, continue to move in her to trust in you and to have faith of a mustard seed to move your great mountains that you have created. Make her strong in you knowing that you are her God, her Creator, her Father, her Lover, her Husband, her Best friend, her Comforter, Provider, and the King of Kings. I lOve you so much. Amen!!!!

I am so glad that I’m not alone. Anxious thoughts crowd in during the most inconvenient times.  I’m glad that I have brothers/sisters in Christ who don’t condemn me for my struggles but lift me up and listen.

I’m just His kid learning how to trust.

Cya~Kristina~